You know what? I was kind of upset that Tom Hiddleston was romantically linked to Taylor Swift. To the point that when I saw a picture of him alongside a shirt that read:  Single  Taken [x] Burdened with glorious purpose, my actual thought was, “Don’t you mean:  Single  Taken [x] Auditioning for Taylor Swift’s next album.”
This of course is Emotional/Fangirl Marissa being super fucking creepy. Why am I emoting like that? (Fun Fact: This is why emotion is of the devil.) Did my underdeveloped fangirl brain think I had a chance? (Fangirl Marissa has now crossed her arms over her chest and is muttering, “Maybe. You don’t know.” Because she is an idiot.) I thought I could handle this reaction in quiet shame. That is, until people started talking to me about it and I thought, “NOOOO.” I’m that girl. Without realizing it or intending to I’ve become the Tom Hiddleston fan that whenever something remotely related to him happens, people think of me. Dammit.
People have been thinking of me a lot lately, funny pictures they’ve seen, advertisements for book clubs, Shakespeare plays at the Globe. I’ve accepted that I’m someone that gets thought of when Harry Potter things happen because I am an unrelenting eternal fan of the series. I’ve never been ashamed of that, but when did I become that girl?
I don’t want to be that creepy fan on an Austenland level. I don’t want to be drowning in posters, BluRays, and clothing that have a single celebrity as the focus. That makes me feel icky. I don’t mean to rag on it completely. If that’s your jam and it honestly and genuinely makes you happy, you do you. I can support that, but, on the other hand, I’m not happy in that sort of life. I want more. I don’t want my life centered around the doings of some guy, celebrity or not, unless that guy is Jesus.
So I’m over Tom Hiddleston and Taylor Swift. I’m not for it or against it. Thank you for bringing it to my attention, but he is not a family member, a friend, a coworker, or even someone I have semi regular interactions with. Therefore, my opinion doesn’t count and I have decided to not channel my energy into that. And you know what? Taylor Swift, as a fellow female, get it, girl. Why do we care more about who Taylor Swift is dating than any other singer on the planet? Surely she isn’t the first person to write about people she’s been in relationships with. That’s not something she created.
As for me, I’m going to focus on things that make me happy. I’m going to (re)start a 30 yoga camp series with my HemingWeigh yoga mat. I find the name of my mat delightfully fun. That’s its official name by the way. I didn’t not give it that name. But dare I say that it makes me want to do yoga Ernest-ly? Ba-dum-dum-tsst. I’m also going to keep plugging away at this book The Madwoman in the Attic which is this huge (bigger than Tolstoy) compilation of literary critiques concerning women authors and women’s literature. Papa Looker mentioned it to me years ago, and I happened to have bought it in one of my bad B&N book binges. It’s way more high minded than me so the reading is slow. I’m thinking of volunteering to help out at VBS in some way at my church. I don’t know how they do things, so I don’t know how I’ll be able to help. I’m also thinking of taking the plunge and requesting to be put in a home group. It only took me a year to get to this point! Just kidding. Going to another person’s house gives me stress. And, finally, I’m going to continue practicing lettering/calligraphy. I don’t have that scary fancy pen for calligraphy. Mostly, I’ve been using Crayola markers and Sharpies. I’m just trying to get the shape of the letters down the way I want them. Then I’ll progress from there.
Maybe in the end, I’ll be quietly happy. That would be cool.