Crazy Shit You Find in Asian Dramas (10)

  1. I once watched a show where the main girl’s father, little sister, and best friend/ex boyfriend (it was obviously complicated) convinced her that she was dying of brain cancer, had six months to live, and shipped off to an island just so she’d take a vacation. Oops. She had a life crisis and eloped with a guy. The fuck?
  2. Speaking of why you never let your Asian friends send you on a surprise vacation. I once watched a show where these two people stole the main girl’s money to buy her a first class plane ticket and then while she was gone sold her house. I don’t know how you legally get away with that. The fuck?
  3. I once watched a show with a character that I like to call Aggressive Lip Balm Guy. I don’t know if he realized he was gay, but I’m 99.8% sure he was. On his person at any given time were at least four different chapsticks and lip balms. He applied them usually when angry and in a manner that equaled shooting daggers with his eyes. It was uncomfortable to watch. The fuck?
  4. I once watched a show where the main girl and the main guy were drugged and ended up having sex together. She got pregnant. Not only did they guy blame her, even though he knew who actually drugged them and that she was drugged too, but he referred to her as “The Snail.” So many weird snail animations happened, and his laugh was that of nightmares. The fuck?
  5. I once watched this show where the two main characters lived in one room apartments next to each other. Both were sixteen. Both had families that lived elsewhere. They were not old enough to be living on their own. What were their parents thinking? Who lets their sixteen year old child live alone in an apartment to fend for themselves? The fuck?
  6. Once, I watched this show where you spend the whole season wanting these two people to get together. It’s the classic, they hate each other but slowly grow to want to bang each other. Turns out their siblings and didn’t know it. Full siblings. Not even step or half. Not that that makes any difference. In the end, the main girl moved to Africa to become a nun. The fuck?
  7. I almost watched this show once where I didn’t really know what was going on, but definitely foresaw that it was going to be a romance show between a seventeen year old prostitute and a forty-five year old man. Promptly turned that off because no thanks. The fuck?
  8. I watched this show once where the main girl is dying (for real this time) from some unnamed disease and her hands all jacked up. She doesn’t have friends and refuses to go to the hospital. Her slightly but definitely older neighbor starts talking to her and hanging out with her. Turns out the mom paid him to be nice to the daughter. Plot twist, the guy really does fall in love with her and ends up wearing the wedding ring of their fake wedding because he’ll never get over the main girl. Who needs happiness, right? The fuck.
  9. I watched this show once where this guy (same one from No. 8) and this girl are forced to get married even though the guy is in college and the girl is only 16 because of some promise their grandpas made to each other during war. Plot Twist: the guy is all hung up on the girl and the 16 year old girl has an elaborate affair with the star baseball player at her high school. Who saw that coming? No one who watches Asian Dramas with any sort of frequency. The fuck.
  10. I once watched this show where a minor character wanted to date the main guy but his ex girlfriend came back into the picture. The minor character walked up behind the ex girlfriend and almost pushed the girl down two flights of stairs because she was goddamn crazy. Luckily the main girl stopped the crazy ass minor character. The fuck?!

I should probably stop watching these dramas. Except this is better than soap operas. Well, it might be on the same level as Passions. Who remembers the prom boat the simultaneously burned and sunk for an entire month? The dreaded He-She? That infamous “What the hell, Dad?” moment? TV Gold. So yeah, can’t stop won’t stop. These shows are crazy and hysterical, plus they make me feel better about my own life.

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