1. “Bye, Felicia.” From what I’ve gathered, this is an insult. Perhaps I don’t care enough. You could call me Nancy Pong and leap away like a gazelle. Are you leaving me alone now? Good.
2. “Basic.” I was watching Scream Queens and trying to decide if I was enjoying myself. I don’t think I was. One of the characters said basic, and I had a small meltdown. I video texted my best friend and asked the age old question, “What does this mean?” Apparently, it’s the rich sorority girl way of saying average. Like, hey you’re normal and like normal things. This is bad? I don’t know.
3. “You know you’re a…” listicles. You want to know why I know I’m a 90’s kid? I was a kid. In the 90’s. Want to know why I know I’m a boy band fan? I was a fan. Of boy bands. I don’t know need a list. I’ve got this.
4. “Which Character are You?” quizzes. I will straight up lie to get the character I want because I know which answers go to which characters, and I will reserve the right to brag to my Facebook friends about getting the character I wanted and knowing I’d be that character all along. #ForeverLunaLovegood.
5. Pet Halloween Costumes. That’s animal cruelty, right? I’ve never seen an animal dressed up in a costume that doesn’t look like it wants to drown itself in its own water bowl. Just let them be. They don’t care. They can’t even eat the chocolate.
6. “On point.” I’ve used this myself. I don’t know what it means. I just hope other people don’t know what it means either. I think it’s a compliment. I think you want to be on point. I’m not entirely sure though, and I’m too lazy to look it up.
7. “What ____________ are you/do you like based off your Zodiac sign?” This isn’t science. This is randomly attributed answers connected to random signs. And now I’m pissed because I can’t cheat myself to the answer I want. Really, a cinnamon swirl? No.
8. Taking so long to take a picture of your food at a restaurant that it gets cold and you complain about the service. There are real studies about things like this happening. Why are we like this? What is wrong with us? You order the food. They make the food. You eat the food. 100% no one cares if you post a picture about it.
9. “## things all ________ fans will laugh at” articles. I laughed. And do you know what? I’m not even a fan. I haven’t seen a single episode. On the other hand, I do have a sense of humor and a modicum of intelligence.
10. Johnlock. I don’t get it. I don’t understand why we feel pressured to believe that John and Sherlock are in a secret homosexual relationship. Furthermore, why can’t they be friends? More than sexual relationships, shouldn’t we be encouraging men to have and be okay with deep meaningful friendships with each other, that it’s okay to have serious male friends that they know and trust? John and Sherlock as friends is a role model that all guys should look at and appreciate. You can have that level of feelings for a person without wanting to bang them. And personally, I think defaulting into the opinion of “oh, they must want to bang,” cheapens their friendship as if they’re only in it to get laid or to fulfill basic desires. Guys can be best friends too.