Ten Things the Internet Taught Me Today

1. Brain freeze is caused by your brain sensing the drop in temperature on your palate. It increases blood pressure in attempt to save you from freezing. (Extra fun fact: I heard that pressing your thumb against the roof of your mouth helps get rid of it faster. Or never eat anything cold ever again. Your choice.)

2. Venom from the Japanese Giant Hornet Can dissolve human flesh. (Because I wanted to sleep tonight.)

3. Hugging for 20 seconds releases Oxytocin, which can make you trust someone more. (Which only proves that I was right in thinking that hugs are meant to weak others and do harm. Hugs = lies.)

4. There’s no crying in baseball.

5. Rutherford B Hayes? Rutherford B HAWT.

rutherfordbmine

6. [Apparently,] I can be as high maintenance as I want because no one pays my bills but me. (#feminism)

7. JFK purchased 1,200  Cuban cigars just hours before he ordered the Cuban Trade Embargo in 1962. (I could write whole posts about how much of a TWAT and a low class citizen I think JFK was. But I won’t. But if I did, I rest assured knowing my mother would probably agree with me.)

8. The stereotypical heart shape was meant to be two (anatomical) hearts fused together. (Either that or it’s the shape of a woman’s backside when she’s giving a blowjob. The internet seems confused on this one. How big of a feminist rant do you want to go on?)

9. If you put your earphones in your nostrils and open your mouth, it forms speakers. (You know, if you’re in a pinch.)

10. When someone new is hanging out with you and your friends, call your friends by their names so the new person has a chance to memorize them. (Because the internet can be nice sometimes.)

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