I was going to post this fun list. It was filled with celebs, the type of people you’d expect to see on any list I was creating. You probably could list off several of them off the top of your head without even thinking. Instead of just posting a list, I was going to add pictures and gifs to spice it up. Then, two of the people on the list that I really admired were atheists, and it made me feel painfully sad to know that we are at fundamental odds. Something that is foundational for me, that gets me through life and provides me the strength to live is something they speak out against with equal passion. I felt just at my core sad, a pure sadness without the impurities of anger, piety, snobbishness, or guilt. that sadness made me rethink my list. At these moments, who do I really want to talk to?
1. Keri B – It kind of kills me that we don’t live anywhere near each other. When given the chance, I’d speak with her for hours. I like her view on life and her opinions. I want to know what she thinks about things. She’s exactly what a best friend should be. She challenges me while still managing to support me.
2. Grandma O – I feel like such a shit because I totally missed out on this really great human being that was in my life. I took for granted this astounding woman who was capable of so much. I wish I had the opportunity to talk with her even just once more, and this time I’d listen harder and ask more questions.
3-5. Ashley G, Emily C, and Haley G – I actually get to see them occasionally and we’ll talk and text. Still, living in a city where none of your friends also live changes your respect for those moments in college when you could all pile in the car and then sit at Starbucks for hours laughing and chatting. I always knew how amazing it was to hang out with these three, but now that I’m an adult, and I see us spread out in the country, and hanging out takes planning and scheduling and requesting time off, just being able to talk with the means so much more.
6-9. Jacii, Phil, Janelle, and Tracie – I’m clearly in a terribly nostalgic mood, but really, any time we can sit around the table and talk isn’t just fun. It’s not just great. It holds this restorative property like, “Oh my God, I can breathe again.” There’s this idea that you have this bucket. I can’t really remember what’s supposed to go in it. Something crucial to living. And your supposed to ladle what you have in other people’s buckets and other people will ladle what they have in yours. It’s this continuous loop of giving and receiving which is beautiful. True, other people I see daily restore me, but it’s comparing getting a few tablespoons in your bucket every day versus getting to talk to my siblings and feeling like they’ve just completely over turned their bucket into mine, screw the ladle.
10. My Parents – We don’t share identical beliefs. We have the same core beliefs, but there are topics that we either disagree on or have subtle differences about. And instead of being bratty and writing them out of my life because we aren’t the same (which, sadly, I feel happens with a lot of children and their parents) I want to talk to them even more because of it. I want to sit at their feet and talk about political issues, religious ideals, the last fiction book they read, and manga. Anything. I love to talk to them and be challenged by them. I love talking if not seriously, then passionately with them. We always joke that they’re the only ones who understand me. Possibly. But what I really love is that whether they understand me or not, they always love me. They treat me thoughts as valid. I have the strength to think my own thoughts because I know they’ll always love and respect me. They’ll always let me say what I’m thinking and allow us to talk intelligently about a topic without it being a fight. It’s purely sharing of ideas, which I crave sometimes. I crave the feeling of talking intelligently about topics, whatever the topic may be.
Honorable Mentions: Zach and Steve, who are right up there with all of my siblings, and I wholeheartedly consider them my brothers, whom I enjoy talking to, but let’s be honest. It was them or mom and dad, and I know who pays my bills. 😀 J/K hearts.
This had so much potential for being funnier, and maybe I should have lied my way through it because, I mean, I still want to talk to Tom Hiddleston about literature and to Jennifer Lawrence about almost anything over a beer. I’d love to talk to Rowling about writing, as well as Ian McEwan. But I probably never will, and I still live a happy life even without those conversations. These ten people listed, they are crucial to my happiness. I guess I need to talk to them more than simply wanting to talk to them.