“This is your very first post.”
You don’t know my life, WordPress. I don’t even know my life. I am currently procrastinating almost ten different things. Eh, that’s an incredibly specific number. I’m procrastinating many things.
1. I was going to make breakfast, but then I stayed in bed too long, and now I feel obligated to wait until lunch because someone at some point in my life called me an adult. Now I have all of these expectations and pressures in my life. I’m still drinking a cup of coffee though. Life doesn’t happen without caffeine.
2. I thought about finally fixing that personal statement for my grad school application. It might be the one thing that ruins my somewhat brilliant and envious friendship with Papa Looker. My body goes into panic whenever I think about grad school though. Do I really want to go? Does anyone really want to go? Do I like Children’s Literature that much? I have like a month to figure this out before I miss the deadline. It’s almost funny, yet not at all.
3. Showering. I don’t wash my hair every day, but that’s like the main event of the shower. “Stop day dreaming, Marissa. Wash your hair and get out so you can make it to work on time.” So, showering without washing my hair feels a little like a waste of my time, especially because it’s my day off and caring about my appearance is optional.
4. J/K. I have raging social anxiety. Caring about my appearance is never optional. And while I’ll coat my underarms in an extra layer of deodorant and spritz myself like I’m in a rainstorm of Bath & Bodywork’s White Citrus, I’m putting off the twenty minutes it takes to curl my hair. I think if I put it up in a bun one more time this week before I wash my hair again, large chunks of hair will fall out. My scalp needs a break from hair ties, clips, and bobby pins.
4.a. Yes. It takes all of that for me to put my hair into a bun. I have like three strands and they need all of the support I can give them.
5. Reading the Bible. I’m a heathen, essentially. I just started reading Ephesians. It’s not bad. Paul’s sassy and wonderful. I blame my laziness in reading the Bible on Satan, which of course, my know-it-all personality is shouting in the back of my head, “He only tempts you. You’re the one choosing to be a twat.” I know, self. I know.
6. Let’s talk about real procrastination. One of my two beautiful goddaughters was born in February and baptized in March. March 10th, also Remus Lupin’s birthday. Not that I’m the HUGEST geek in the world or anything. I’m making a photo album for each of my goddaughters. It’s meant to be an ongoing thing. On blank 4″ x 6″ cards, I draw Bible verses and bits from the Small Catechism, or I put in pictures of us. I give them 16 cards each year so that by the time they are eighteen, they will have a full photo album to take with them to college. It’s nearly April 10th, and I haven’t even drawn one picture for my niece. I’m so horrible as a person. I’m trying to get these photos printed out to send, but I have pictures in three different places and no Snapfish.com account. Luckily, she’s two and won’t notice that I’m an awful human being. My other goddaughter is going to be seven. She’ll know if I’m a twat. Maybe I should finish Evie’s cards and go straight on to making Ella’s. Ha. Yeah, and I’ll finally write that book.
7. I’m always writing a book, yet never finishing one. I’d elaborate, but this fact genuinely pisses me off. I can’t talk about it without feeling a sort of inner rage at myself that is destructive to my inner chi.
8. Cleaning my room. My apartment was almost invaded. I was worried enough that I haven’t really been home in a week, so my bedroom is full of half unpacked suitcases and bags. I hate a messy room, but yet, that probably won’t happen until tonight when I’m dead tired and want to go to bed, but feel the need to procrastinate sleeping. I’m a six year old. I want to sleep so badly, but I also feel like I’m missing out on something if I actually go to sleep.
Well, that was almost ten things. I’m sure I’m forgetting about a few. I don’t know if I’ll be serious about this. I have to warn you. I’m terrible at diaries and blogs. But, WordPress is such a fascinating thing to my brain. I had to take that chance, right? You get it.